How far does a person have to be behind you before it's acceptable to not hold the door and let it close behind you? How long are you expected to hold it open while the person does that weird run/walk thing to hurry and catch up to you so you don't have to stand there forever? If someone does hold the door open for you, especially for an extended period, wouldn't it be appropriate to say thank you or at the bare minimum give the typical "white people" grimace smile (the kind that is given when two white people are passing each other and there is no one else in the vicinity so a toothless half smile that says "I'm kind of uncomfortable about this, but I need to acknowledge you in some way" type face)...Black people are much cooler in this regard and provide each other with a head nod of sorts; this is also better because a smile should only be given when there is something to smile about, the strangers we smile at could be serial killers for all we know. Anyway I digress...
The "thank you" is obvious. People should always say thank you if the door is held for them. If a thank you is not received, the door holder has every right to shout "Your welcome!" or heave a big loud sigh, or a provide the offender with a "tsk ahhhhhh!" The other situations are not so obvious and I find myself faced with these questions daily. Either I hold the door open for a super extra long time because I am trying to be kind, but then I just seem weird for extending myself in this manner for a complete stranger. Or I judge that the person is a reasonable enough distance behind me and let the door close. Then that person catches up to me at the elevator or something and I feel they must be thinking, "thanks for holding the door asshole." I don't know, what the answers are. Maybe someone out there does.
One would think this problem could be resolved if revolving doors were installed everywhere, but trust me when I say, there are complications there as well. Like if you're going out and someone is coming in, you see that person, but do you stand there and let that person get in even if there is not a full door available to him or her (it's like half of one door and half of the other)...? Or do you start to push thus giving him or her the opportunity to step into a full door situation, but possibly chopping their arm off in the process if they don't time things the same way you do? I think I would find myself a much happier person in the mornings if I didn't have to deal with these issues. I think I am happier when I find myself either walking alone so I don't have to deal with pedestrian traffic, or in the middle of a big crowd so someone else has to ponder these issues.
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2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean, as I'm sure everyone does! It can be quite frustrating to consider these types of situations on a day to day basis (especially when you live in a complex that is 65% seniors). Like... do you treat them differently because they're old? Do you only hold open the door for the particularly feeble looking ones? Ugh! It makes me crazy.
Today I walked through 3 sets of doors leaving a building. I did not notice there was someone behind me. Obviously, I did not hold the doors. The individual became cross and called me "rude". I said I was sorry, but had not seen him. Am I supposed to look behind me every time I let a door close?
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