Monday, April 23, 2007

Yes!

So, I was looking at my Site Tracker today, which captures the number of people that read my blog per day and the Country, City and State from which my blog readers hail. It's fun because sometimes a random person will be on this list from China or the UK, etc.

Anywho, today someone read my blog from New Haven, CT. I at first panicked because I was worried that somehow my Grandparents got a hold of the link to my blog and now are fully aware that I'm a crazy person. But, it turns out that wasn't the case at all.

Someone did a search on Google for "Things that Awkward People Do," and my site came up. Now I'm assuming it's because of this post. But, I think it sums up my blog in total and probably a good description of me on most days as well.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Spring Time Poem

Hi all,

My blog has been lackluster lately, so I thought I'd spend some time thinking up a Spring Time Poem for everyone. Here goes...

Springtime is here and I'm filled with cheer, even though I'll be homeless soon.
I'd like to get outta here and go sip on a beer, oh and find a new job before June.
My company is lackluster and many a cluster are waiting behind every bend.
Thank God it is warm and the day's in good form so I can drink outside with my friends.

I have to remember not to get too excited as my life is far from in tact,
There a lot of bad things that happen in Springtime and this, my friends, is a fact.
People come out in all kinds of clothes. Things they should sooo not be wearing.
Tummies are hanging, boobies are flying and short skirts are definetly shaming.

There are other bad things that happen in the Spring, but I guess I don't want to dwell.
There's allergies, and pollen, spring fever comes calling and bum's do increase their smell.
But there's no point in being crappy, Spring makes me happy and that is the point I will sell.
The spring has nice flowers and you'll be outdoors for hours even though I'll still be here in hell.

HAPPY SPRING TIME EVERYBODY!!!! HAVE A DRINK FOR ME TONIGHT!!!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

You know who is...

the happiest man in the world right now? ....

Imus

Monday, April 16, 2007

Jeanine and Calvin's Trip to NYC

Time Line

Friday, April 13th = Friday the 13th

12:30 AM: Finally get into bed after working late until 9:45 on Thursday and distracting myself from worrying about my interview by watching TiVo'd episodes of "The Office."

1:30 AM: Fall asleep

3:30 AM: Alarm goes off. Wake up. Want to kill myself.

5:30 AM: Leave for NYC (a half hour late)

5:30 AM - 6:30 AM: Calvin speed demons his way through PA. I brought a bunch of stuff to study for my interview in the car, but it's too dark to read anything...shit...so I look out of the side window in an attempt to not notice how fast we are going.

6:30AM - 7:00AM: Calvin slows down somewhat because he has a speeding ticket he hasn't paid yet in New Jersey and I told him if he got arrested on the way to my interview for unpaid tickets I was never going to speak to him again.

7:00AM - 7:15AM: Fall asleep for the briefest of moments and wake up to the realization that Calvin missed our exit to the Holland Tunnel. The exit sign said "Blah, Blah and the Holland Tunnel, exits 22A,B and C" So, in Calvin's defense he thought he had until 22C to get off the turnpike, but in reality the sign was to get off for all three exits at once. Had I been awake, I'm confident I would have realized this.

7:30AM - Try to take the Lincoln Tunnel, but Calvin gets frustrated because of traffic and decides to turn around to go try the Holland Tunnel again. I sit there and don't say anything because I don't want to get into a fight before my interview. "Ahhhh Serenity Now!!!"

7:30AM - 8:00AM - Listen to "Freestyle Fridays" on a progressive talk radio station. They were talking about the Imus issue, people were calling in and such. At some point Calvin says in retaliation to a caller "If stupid people are too stupid to realize how stupid they are then they must be stupid." I laugh and he is my friend again. It also turns out he was right to turn around and go back to the Holland Tunnel because it took us right where we needed to go.

8:15ish AM - Arrive in Downtown NYC. I know the address to the company to be 165 Broadway. We find Broadway and something within the street number range and I convince Calvin that it's better to park and walk to find it then to drive around until we see the building. This is right by the World Trade Center site so roads are all blocked off and it's confusing.

8:20ish AM - We set off to find the building. Instantly my comfy new shoes start to hurt and it's colder than I thought it was going to be. I quickly realize the street numbers are going in the opposite direction than where we need to be headed, so we turn around. The conversation goes something like this...

Me: Walking...."This isn't the right way, we are going into Tribecca, we need to be going towards the World Trade Center."

Calvin: Walking...."I told you we should've found the building before we parked." "This is West Broadway, lets walk over a couple of streets and see if we find just plain Broadway"

Me: Turn around and walking..."There can't be two Broadways, the street numbers must start over again on the other side of the World Trade Center." "Then it probably changes into East Broadway or something." This, I feel is totally logical.

Calvin: Walking some more..."That seems like quite a ways (we were in the 90's)."

Me: Walking...."No it's not we're at 90 now, they will go down to 0 in a block or two."

Calvin: Walking more..."Um nooo. They have to go from 90 to 80 to 70 etc."

Me: Stop walking. Out comes the map!

Me: "Oh, there is another Broadway a couple of blocks over."

Calvin: Just looks at me and smiles. I'm not is friend anymore.

Me: I'm so tired of being wrong. I also realized I left my black pen in the car and all I have is a red pen with psychedelic designs on it that I got in my stocking at Christmas.

8:45 AM: Jeanine and Calvin make a pit stop at Duane Reade for a normal pen.

8:50 AM: Find the Zurich Building. It's right next to the World Trade Center site (scary), but also right next to Century 21 (SWEET!) (for those of you who don't know it is a huge store full of discounted designer stuff Wooohaa!!).

9:00 AM: I down a coffee and a glazed doughnut. I don't even like glazed doughnuts, but after going on about 3 hours sleep and the adventure into the city, I feel like I'm going to fall over. The sugar works and I pray it will get me through the whole interview. I also blame my grogginess for the reason I was not up to parr with the whole directions thing.

9:30 AM: Interview. I think it went well on my part. But the 2nd person to interview me, who will be one of my managers should I get the job, was kind of weird. She was a bit on the rough side and ended up complaining about how the Swedes were taking over Zurich.

Jeanine (in my head): Ummmm...It is a Swiss company...Zurich is in Switzerland...wouldn't it be the Swiss taking over the company?...Why is she telling me this???? Wow, this kinda sucks.

11:30 AM: Interview over and back to Calvin and Starbucks

Calvin: "How did it go?"

Jeanine: "Good I guess, but I don't know about working here anymore."

Calvin: "OK, what's wrong?"

Jeanine: What a nice guy. He takes off work and takes me into NYC, waits while I'm in the interview and I probably won't take the job anyway now. And I'm wrong with all the directions. And he still doesn't want to kill me.

Lucky me.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

You know people don't like you when....

So, there are these two "people" at my job, that are just horrific. Today a co-worker described them perfectly so I thought I'd share.

Me: "I told you they were evil, you just didn't want to listen"

Co-worker: "Nobody likes them. Their co-workers don't like 'em, their friends don't like them and their family doesn't like them. They are terrible! If we were invaded by aliens, the aliens wouldn't like those m!!!@!#$@! ers."

That is the truth too. If we are ever invaded by aliens I know the perfect people to introduce them to. The aliens will decide they do not want to be associated with just abomidable beings and they will turn around and leave.

Is it bad to post this right above a Happy Easter, Love Jesus post?

Sunday, April 8, 2007

HAPPY EASTER

Be thankful for what you have, appreciate the things you do not, keep the faith, be nice, be good, pray for those closest to you and the soldiers far away from you; Love Jesus for giving us hope.

Everything will be OK, whatever it is.

Friday, April 6, 2007

I will be in NYC on Friday

So apparently I rocked the phone interview. I didn't think I did, I thought I gummed it all up, but apparently not. I will be in NYC on Friday for the BIG interview. "BAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Oh Wow, I'm going to be Betty Basketcase this week. If I can come up with a million things to go wrong at my own house for a phone interview, imagine what might befall me in NYC. "Whoa Nelly, I'm scared." But, excited!!!!!!! "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Savoring the last minutes of warm

So, I guess it's not really warm at the moment as I have a jacket on and my feet are freezing, but apparently this is all I've got until next week sometime. I hear it's supposed to be colder on Easter than it was on Christmas. That is simply unacceptable. I would like more than anything to give up my Winter Coat to Goodwill (it's seen better days) and I can't seem to get rid of the blasted thing.

I have a phone interview for a job in NYC on Friday so I need everyone to cross their fingers for me. It's probably with just some HR person or something, so I don't see how I can possibly mess it up, but stranger things have happened. I have to do the interview from home, so I'm going to be sure I am sitting down in a quite area (maybe my closet) where nothing can possibly happen to me. If I walk around while I'm talking, I'm apt to stub my toe into something abominable and let out a whomping curse. Or if I tried to get a glass of water I could break the glass on the floor and then have to do the whole rest of the interview surrounded by glass while simultaneously trying to stop Chloe from coming in and walking in the vicinty. These are the things I think about.

So, sitting down in the closet (to minimize the dog barking sound should anyone enter or leave my building during the interview time)surrounded by soft things like clothes, pillows and blankets seems like the best option. I should be safe unless my over populated shelves choose that very moment to topple down around me. I worry about this misfortune happening every time I'm in my closet. It hasn't happened yet, but if it's going to happen there is a high likelihood it will happen at the most inopportune moment, such as during a phone interview. I would pick the bathroom, but I fear it might be too echoey and the interviewer will think I'm in the bathroom. They'd be right, but we can't have that. So, in closing, what we have to hope for is Jeanine does great on her interview, says all the right things, sits in one place, doesn't get hurt and avoids dog barking and shelf fallage. Alright people pray for me.