I'm back!!

Hello all,

I hope I haven't lost you. Please forgive my absence but it's been an eventful past week or so. A lot has happened so I will clue you all in on the highlights (or at least the things I have a sense of humor about).

First, I would like to say that my "Puffy Face Syndrome" has been resolved, replaced by the worst cold I've had in about 5 years. Nothing works. I've tried: Theraflu, DayQuil, NightQuil and inhaling a pot full of steamy water. This was Calvin's suggestion-it did work, as long as I kept my face right over the pot of boiling water... obviously this didn't last long. I even made myself some kind of alcohol shot with what had in the house (rum, kahula and tequila) - I always see Grandmother's (on TV Grandmothers) supply some type of alcoholic concoction to their loved ones so I figured I'd try it. No luck, but I did sleep for about 2 hours after that. "WaaaaaaChoooo!!!" that was me sneezing again. Enough of this cold talk. Oh and just as an FYI, that concocotion...not so bad really.

So, I went to the Bahamas, Atlantis, to be exact for a business trip. Under normal circumstances, going to the Bahamas would be great, but I went there to work, so it sucked. I had absolutely no free time. Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than riding down in an elevator jam packed with people on their way to the beach, smelling like suntan lotion, while you're dressed up in a suit. No. Nothing worse.

I had the lucky pleasure of being on a floor jam packed with Springbreakers. Obviously weathly ones, since they could afford Atlantis, but incredibly out of control and ridiculous. I know for a fact I never acted like these kids. I'm calling them kids; I'm old. I spent the first night from about 1:30 am-5:30 am listening to kids run up and down halls, slam doors, yell, break stuff, and talk back to and later on engage in fisticuffs with the security guards. I could maybe rationalize this behavior somewhat if they were in a hotel full of Springbreakers, but as this is a family resort, that was clearly not the case. At some point, they must have been sober enough to realize this. I hate them. All of them.

Luckily, I got some of their friends back on the plane ride home. The flight wasn't very full and I had a whole row of seats to myself. Unfortunately, there were three yapping fluttery skirt girls behind me. "Like he was totally hot" " I know right" "Oh my god did I actually say that!?!!" "I was sooo drunk." ...... Kill me...Just kill me now. Prior to take-off and about 20 minutes into their conversation, the pilot got on the intercom and said we were free to move around and change seats as the flight was finished boarding. Now, even though I technically had no reason to move as I had a whole row to myself, I promptly uprooted myself and proceeded to move one row up and one row over figuring that was a good enough distance to put between me and the girls from hell. When I went back to move my luggage from the overhead, I was rewarded with a "tsk." and a dirty look from said girls. I know it's not much, but the knowledge that I managed to annoy at least someone on this trip was very rewarding.

Satisfying Gossip

I will not have time to write a good blog today, so as I substitute I offer this gem of an article I read from the NY Daily News. It offers all the satisfying gossip you should need for one day...or at least for the morning. Enjoy!

To all the poor college grads I have to interview today. "I IMPLORE you to realize that this is not where you want to be!!!!" I feel like the Captain of the Titanic welcoming people aboard after the ship hit the iceburg.....

Too bad none of them will actually read this, but at least I'm warning somebody.

All Puffed Up

My eyes seem to be a bit puffy this morning. One might say I look something like our friend Buttercup Powerpuff over here. She's angry on purpose; she's angry cause she's a big puff face.

You know what I think it was? I got totally sucked into Dove Soap's marketing campaign and thought that I needed to have younger looking more moisturized skin, so I tried a new kind of soap (Dove Pro Age). Well, the Dove people have something to answer for, cause their soap that was supposed to make me youthful and luminous made my eyes puff out of my head and now I look ridiculous. Thanks.

Sincerely, Puff Eyed and Pissed Off

F the Flippity Flappin Floppers!!!

Nothing would make me happier than if this happens. I cannot STAND when people do this and it's part of what is ruining the game. What bothers me most of all is that
Mr. Noah to our left is the king of the college flop and everyone keeps talking about how great he is. I think in this pic he's probably saying "Ooo ah ow my ass hurts from taking so many falls...OOOOOUCH!!!"

Something to Brighten Everyone's Day

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Check out homie in the yellow shirt. Ha!!!